Faith is something that I have to continually work on. I do the things I am supposed to, but I have a hard time believing that I deserve blessings. There are so many more people out there who are more righteous, more kind, more deserving, give more service, etc... Sometimes I feel bad, because I feel like my family gets the short end of the stick, because of me.
Things are tough all around the country right now. They aren't horrible for us, but they are definitely tougher than normal. Then on top of that, we seem to have had the most expensive baby ever. So we have tons of unexpected medical bills, dental problems that keep popping up, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc... Needless to say I have been stressing, trying to figure out how I am going to make it all work.
Tithing does not come naturally to me. No matter how hard I try, I have to do just that, try. Most people just send it off, know they are doing what's right, and things work out. So as I was sending off our check yesterday, thinking of all the gifts I need to buy (teachers, friends, family, Jon, mom, in-laws,etc...) it was a test of faith.
I just got the mail, and there was a stimulus check, that I was told we wouldn't receive because it would go to Jon's business. It's in my hand, in my name. Not as much as my tithing, but still a good amount. Maybe good things can happen to me. I'm just super glad I continue to try to do what's right, and that Heavenly Father knows when I need a little reassurance of my importance to him.