Today looks like it could quite possibly be the day. I heard from my moron doctor on Tuesday evening, and it sounded like he said he didn't want me to go past Friday since apparently I have Jabba the hut residing in me...
So my appointment is at ten, and I think I am ready.
Do you ever feel like you are pushing your luck? I have four beautiful, relatively healthy, amazing, most of the time pretty good, children. Was I tempting the Gods by trying again? My deliveries have been long, and as hard as can be expected, but nothing serious has ever happened. Is this the time? I am filled with anxiety. Jon is getting sick of me, of my worrying. Then the other night he comes in and finds me watching a show about Proteus Syndrome. He was not very happy to say the least. I am panicky about the epidural, no way in hell I can do it without one, but I absolutely panic during the procedure. It hurts so bad. The only one that didn't hurt was Chloe's, and that was because they had given me 2 shots of Demerol before hand, needless to say I was quite happy afterwards...
I have never been so worried, can I do this all over again? Can I handle the nights, the ear infections, the crying, the inability to communicate through words? I am praying Heavenly Father will stay with me, and give me the strength I need. I know once I have that sweet, not-so-little girl in my arms, it will all be alright, but until then I am a mess.
I will keep you all updated once I know if something is really going to happen today. I may have 5 red heads by the end of the night.
So to quote one of my favorite TV characters: HOLY CRAP!!!