4.30.2008

Letting Go


I just said goodbye to this guy. He is on a bus, with 20 other 3rd graders, on their way to San Diego for YMCA Camp Surf. He won't be back until Friday evening.

Did I mention, that I had to run away quickly after saying goodbye because I was sobbing? Or the fact that I sat in my car in the parking lot for almost 20 minutes, because I couldn't drive I was crying so hard. I can't breathe. I miss him so much, and I am so nervous for him.

He was so excited, but I could also tell he was a little nervous, so I left. I think having me there made him more anxious, even though I was keeping my cool, and playing with him. I hate knowing that I don't get to talk to him for 2 days. What if he needs me? Oh, here it goes again, I am crying...

This has helped me make a decision, he will NOT be serving a mission. No freaking way I can say goodbye to him for 2 years.

Chloe leaves for the Grand Canyon with her class tomorrow, but I am not as worried about her. She goes to sleepovers all the time, and she is fine. I know she is going to have a blast, and not even glance back at us. I just don't know how Andy is gonna do. I hate not knowing. I don't think I have ever prayed so much in my life. I hope it all goes well, and he has a great time, and proves all my fears and worries wrong!

Please send happy thoughts my way, cause I really don't know if I am gonna make it through the next few days.

11 comments:

Mimi said...

you'll do fine, I promise!!! I can't imagine how hard the mission thing is going to be, but we all do it and make it through! Keep sending prayers his way and these days will fly by before you know it! Love ya!

Tiffany said...

I know exactly how you feel. My heart is pounding right now just thinking about it.

ducklips said...

Way to go, Mom! I'm so glad you are a mom that is willing to let your kids experience life. From what I've read on your blog you have great kids. Be strong!

Of course if it was me, I'd be freaking out too. I'll keep you both in my prayers tonight.

Sheri said...

I always want my kids to experience things and to learn independence by going places without me but when it actually happens I have a nervous breakdown. And then I cry for hours.

You are a great mom - if you weren't you wouldn't care that he was gone. I am sending lots of happy thoughts your and Andy's way :)

Anonymous said...

SHARK!

Anonymous said...

dude when he drove in the car from us back to our home from SF that late night he was totally happy as a clam. We could have driven to Mexico he never woud have minded, he is a social kid. He will be too busy talking to people and asking questions (LOVE that about him btw) to be too sad or homesick I bet. He loves people like his mom and will make so many friends.

But I am sure misses you just as much, as well.

liz

Laurie M. said...

I know how you feel. I won't hate letting my kids go- for anything. I'm sure he'll be just fine. And you will be too. I am amazed at these school trips your kids get to take. What a great opportunity for them!

Anonymous said...

I am sure that if a tsunami comes they will have plenty of time to get the 20+ kids on the bus and out of the way in time.

linda williams said...

I know how you feel,Emma went to disneyland for the first time when she was 5 with her cousins and I was crying the whole time as she was leaving. It will go by fast. Love ya, Linda

Anonymous said...

I think we should nominate you for Mother of the year. Sending one child into shark infested waters and the other into a raging forest fire. Think of the stories they will tell to their therapist in the years to come.

molly said...

Sending love your way! Its all about the baby steps :)